Mommy Guilt

When I finished work, I decided I would keep Maxton in daycare to keep his routine the same, and to allow me time to get things done in preparation for the baby. A part of me felt awful for sending him to daycare while I was home, but at the same time I know he loves going and playing with his little friends.

Last week daycare was closed Friday and Monday so Maxton had a “long weekend”. When I went to bring him back on Tuesday, he lost it. He clung to me and cried “Mama”. Being as hormonal as I am, I started to break down and tried to pump up daycare and how much fun he would have. I ended up passing him over to my daycare provider and ran out the door crying and feeling like THE WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD. Within two minutes, my daycare provider texted me saying he was completely fine and eating a snack. He had an awesome day and was fine the rest of the week.

I hated the feeling of guilt I had keeping him in daycare while I was home; but I know it was important for me to rest before the baby came, and to keep his routine the same. We are going to keep him in daycare full-time until the end of September, to allow me time to recover, and then just two days a week to keep him used to the environment and routine, for when I go back to work.

Daycare aside, Maxton totally knows something is up. He has been tantruming more the last few days (I know it’s an age thing), and is much more clingy. For the past two days he cries hysterically when we try to put him down for his nap or to bed. This kid is smart. I know he will be okay for my Mom and sisters, I just can’t believe how=in-tune he is, and how he is picking up on the change that is about to come.

I feel so sad and heartbroken that I have to leave him for a couple of days, and hope he really doesn’t notice my absence too much. I know that giving him a sibling is one of the greatest things I could do for him, so I just have to keep thinking about that.

Maxton, you will always be my baby boy, and Mama loves you so very much.

photo35

xo

Advertisements

38 Weeks: The Countdown

Well we are down to counting down the days, folks. This will be my last update for this pregnancy – bitter-sweet. Sometime between now and 40 weeks (August 6) my baby will be born. I am hoping this babe stays in until C-section day, but it’s ultimately up to him/her.

I can’t believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone by. Granted I have a toddler to keep me very busy (who will be 23 months tomorrow).

The end of the pregnancy has definitely been harder this time around. Not as much resting or relaxing, and a lot more “running around”. Picking up/carrying a 30lb toddler at 9+ months pregnant is…interesting. I cannot begin to describe the pressure I feel this time around, that I NEVER felt while pregnant with Maxton. Some days I feel like I should have my hand ready to catch a baby…sorry for the tmi. Ha-ha.

I am starting to feel A LOT of “mom guilt” with Maxton these days. I have been working on a post to share more on that, but it is taking some time to put my thoughts into words.

It’s hard to believe that very very soon, I will be holding my second child in my arms, and introducing him/her to his/her big brother, Maxton. I cannot wait for that moment. I packed a lot of tissue in my hospital bag! Although Maxton won’t really understand what it means to have a baby brother/sister, Steve and I will cherish the moment they meet for the rest of our lives, as we watch them grow up together in the years to come.

Physically we are ready for the baby, just some last-minute cleaning and shopping (groceries etc.) to do. Mentally? Can I really be ready? I am so excited to meet this little person who has been growing inside of me for the past 38 weeks, and am so anxious to find out if it’s a boy or a girl. I am still thinking girl at this point – I actually had a dream the other night that the baby was a girl, born at 10lbs 2oz. We shall see how accurate that dream was – my OB seems to think that is a great guess for the weight and also said she believes something can be said for “mother’s intuition”. I thought Maxton was a boy, we’ll see if I have any intuition left. I am still measuring big, of course, this week I was measuring 40 weeks, which is where I was with Maxton at this point.

So, here I am at 38 weeks pregnant:

DSC_0880

We will take one more photo, before we leave the house to go to the hospital – I will share that photo with you after the baby is born.

It’s going to be hard to be away from my little boy for a couple of days, but I am looking forward to bonding with this little one.

Here is to a safe delivery for me and the baby.

2 weeks to go (but really it’s less…)!

Extreme Heat Wave

So, here I am at 37 weeks pregnant, full-term (YAY!) and it’s ridiculously hot. Like, stay inside all day with the blinds drawn, hot.

photo33

That’s the temperature, without the humidity. Gross.

I forgot how much hotter it is when you’re pregnant in the middle of the summer. Maxton was born August 24, so I have been through this before. As hot as it can be, it’s fun having summer babies.

I can’t say I will be spending much time outdoors with the way the temperatures have been the past few days. Lots of air conditioning, ice cream and cool drinks for this pregnant Mama. I can’t say Steve or Maxton are complaining about the increased amount of ice cream we have been consuming…

photo34

Not much longer now…

Project Deck: The Reveal

I am finally going to share our completed deck with you!

My last deck update didn’t even show the railing, so I will share a few pictures of Steve and my Dad building the railing. We decided to go with the railing kits that came with the aluminum poles and pre-drilled 2×4’s. We are so happy we decided to go this route. Although it was more expensive, it looks amazing.

We decided to only do a railing under the window and down the one side of the deck. The other side of the deck, we aren’t completely decided on. We will either plant cedar trees, or put up a privacy wall; either way it won’t get done until the fall or the spring.

DSC_0777DSC_0776DSC_0790

Steve finished the railing off a few weeks ago, but just got around to finishing off the hand rail (a 2×4 on top of the railing), and the solar lights on the posts. Now, it is 100% complete!

DSC_0861DSC_0862DSC_0863DSC_0864DSC_0865

Even Maxton has his own little set-up on the deck.

I am soooo happy with how our deck turned out! I love it! We are so happy with the furniture we chose. The seated set is by Martha Stewart, from Home Depot; the dining set is from The Bay; the umbrella and base from Canadian tire; and the deck box beside the BBQ holds all of the cushions from the Martha Stewart set, which we picked up from Costco.

I am trying to enjoy as much time on the deck as possible, but it has been difficult dealing with the humidity at 9 months pregnant!

I hope you all like it as much as we do!

The Nursery

As I have mentioned in past posts, we didn’t have much to do with the nursery for this babe. The nursery is gender neutral because we didn’t find out the gender with Maxton either. All we really had to do was build a new crib, rearrange some furniture and remove some of the “boyish” accents, and revert back to the gender neutral theme, for now.

One of my favourite things about the nursery was the bedding we chose. I fell in love with it the second I found it online, and love it just as much to this day.

DSC_0859

I also found some decals that matched the bedding perfectly.

DSC_0853

We have the swing set up in the nursery temporarily, until the glider is back in the room, or until we need it on the main floor to make better use of it. Maxton LOVED the swing, so much so, that we are on the third motor for it. Thankfully they were all covered under warranty, but we will be out of luck this time around. Hopefully this is one strong motor!

DSC_0855

Maxton’s ultra sound picture was in the nursery the entire time he was, and has followed him to his new room. Now we have a new little ultra sound picture in this space that belongs to the little person we are so anxious to meet.

DSC_0857DSC_0858DSC_0854DSC_0852DSC_0851

Everything seems to be ready, just waiting for the sweet sounds of our little babe to fill the space!